08 October 2014

Detachment

Photo Credit: Death to the Stock Photo
One who has finally learned that it is in the nature of objects to come and go without ceasing, rests in detachment and is no longer subject to suffering.

Over the last few weeks I have been learning to become detached. Detached from things that are toxic to my health and well being, detached from things that aren't making me happy, etc…I have been learning to do those things without feeling like shit for doing it. After all, why should I be sad? Why should I depressed? Why should I feel resentful? Especially when other people are out there living their lives. Why shouldn't I live mine? 

So, that is what I started doing. Even though the relationship has been over for well over a year now, I finally told my ex that I was done a few weeks back. I don't want any calls, texts, NOTHING. I can't move on to greener pastures if I'm still stuck in the mud. He was understandably pissed off, said some things that he thought might hurt me, but it didn't and I stuck to my resolve. And it was one of the best days I had in a really long time. Since then I have been living my life, going out on dates and enjoying hanging out with friends. Things I wasn't doing when I was still attached. I'm wearing makeup, not dressing up like a bum all the time, doing my hair. And its great. Now, I am not going to say every day is a great, but everyday is not miserable and I am making strides to have an even better life. 

I know lately I have been off with the posts and I am not going to give you an excuse for why. Because its just life. I hope you will continue to check out my blog and follow me on my journey :) 

19 September 2014

I Am Back!!!

So this week has been the busiest week I have had since leaving active duty. And I am so happy it is over. I had my first two tests of the semester--both on the same day, plus I had a training yesterday for a crisis helpline. That training is 8 weeks long and needless to say, my next several Thursdays will be my long days. I am actually getting nervous about the school thing because this time next year, I will be in my final semester and I will finally graduate with my BA in psychology. I have already started planning what I am going to do next (grad school) and I am laying the foundation for beefing my educational resume up and getting experience in the field so that I can become more competitive in the application process. And I bought some books so I can study for the GRE so I can get started on that early. This person right here has goals and is determined to make it because there is no other way.

So what else have I been up to? Aside from school, I have been working on myself. One big thing that has happened in the last two weeks is that I finally cut the strings on the one thing that was holding me back for so long. You know, its hard to move on and progress when someone has got you as a prisoner mentally. I have known what I needed to do for a while, but sometimes bad habits are hard to break and things are hard to let go. When I did finally let it go, it was like the weight had been lifted off my shoulders and for the first time in a really long time, I felt happy. Now don't get me wrong, everyday is not a happy day, but I do see the light at the end of tunnel. I know I am being very vague about the details, but its still kind of raw and I feel like I need time to process it and get more clarity before I divulge more details.

Anyways, it feels good to actually be writing a blog post because it has been forever! I just needed to take a step back and get myself together before I could continue writing, but now I am getting to a point to where I am good. Plus, I have been thinking about the direction in which I want my blog to go. I think I am going to definitely be doing more life posts, but not in the sense that I am going to be giving advice. I want them to be more about how I see it/how I relate and what I feel about the situation, so be on the look out for those. Plus, more fitness and food topics. And yes, I am still on my fitness journey and I am  still running!

So that is it for now, I actually have to study for yet another test next week and get some readings done for another class that I have to write a paper for. Trying to get better at this not procrastinating thing!

Here are a some photos that I have taken while I have been MIA! 

Talk soon loves!

Everytime we go for our run she always has to stop and say hi to her bff. This same pony always comes to the fence too.
Everytime we go for our run she always has to stop and say hi to her bff. This same pony always comes to the fence too.

My aunt sent me some goodies from home!!! Can't go wrong putting some old bay seasoning on it!


This is what she does to be close to me. She wants me to stop doing my homework

She is mad about this pic LOL





Out for some labor day drinks

Ruby really didn't want to be out there with him 


Ruby wants to know why he is so big


According to Ruby, if her whole body is not on the furniture, then she is not actually not on it and is NOT breaking the rules.

21 August 2014

Hello There!!! | Updates: School, Fitness, Etc

Long time no hear right? Well I am not going to fake the funk and say I have been uber busy, but while some days have been busy, others days, no much so. Anyways, school starts next week, all my books and classes have been paid for and I am ready to get this show on the road. Well, not really, but I am very much ready to get it started and get it over with. I decided that I am going to join some clubs and participate in activities so I am kind of excited/anxious about that. Even though I am pretty sure I will be older than most of them, you only live once right?

Starting this fall I only have 3 semesters left. Its scary for me actually. I have been spending a lot of time talking to other students/grad students about what I need to do be doing right now so that I will be in a better position next year to apply for grad school. Yes I said it. Grad school. Honestly, 10 years ago I never would have thought I would be here. Never thought I would ever go to college, and then when I did take a couple of classes, never thought I would actually finish, and yet, here I am. Almost finished with my bachelors. I told myself that if I didn't get into grad school the first time (I'm trying to be realistic), then I would apply for a teaching program since I would qualify for one as a veteran. Either way, I will be ok.

As for my fitness challenge for myself (run 50 miles this month)--its going excellent! I only need 10 more miles, which is pretty much 3 runs left. This weekend I am thinking about driving down to Santa Monica and knocking out this 10 mile run. Not so that I will complete the challenge, but more so that I can see how my running has improved and really decide if I want to do another half marathon (ok, who  am I kidding? I am going to do another one…eventually). Fitness wise, this summer has been a success for me because I have been very active and I daresay more so than I ever was while active duty in the Army. Kinda weird when I think about it.

I think I can officially say I am settled into my new place. I am so in love with it and I don't plan on moving anytime soon. My old place was stupid hot and miserable, plus traffic was a pain. Where I am now, traffic isn't a real issue and its pretty close to school so I am happy with my decision to move.

The photos below are somewhat random. I went to BeautyCon LA last week and that was an interesting experience. The event was from 10-6, but I really couldn't stay for the whole thing and there were just SO many people there. The lines for the meet and greets were out of this world and this girl just doesn't have the patience. Wish I could have meet Shameless Maya, but maybe next time. I did get to take a photo with ItsMyRayRaye and she is so beautiful in person. For events like that where people go to meet the 'gurus' I would want them to make themselves more available to their audiences. There were only a couple of YouTubers that I saw (who I actually recognized) that actually came out to meet people (and not just sitting at a meet and greet table). I would like to see more of them do that next time around. Overall it was a good experience, and very interesting indeed.



















06 August 2014

Lessons In Life


One of lives many lessons that we have to learn. Part of life is that we have to go through many things that we might consider undesirable and unpleasant. Everyone has different battles and struggles that they go through on a day to day basis and as much as it might suck, its just a part of life. And whether we like it or not, we need it to grow into that person that we are meant to be.

I think this is where personal characteristics come in hand. Me personally, I care a lot, tend to give a lot, and I wear my heart on my sleeve. And it tends to blow up in face. A lot. The other side to that is that I can be for lack of better words, an asshole. Sometimes pushy, very persistent. Aggressive. I go for what I want. I won't say that those are bad qualities, but it is what it is.

Somos lo que hay. We are what we are. 

So what does a person like me do when it doesn't go my way? I keep moving forward. I don't linger on the small little details because you can't change any of it anyway. I guess I am just a cold person like that. Hot and cold. 

Somos lo que hay. 

02 August 2014

August Fitness Goals

What are your personal fitness goals for the month of August?

Me personally, I would like to run/walk (with Ruby) at least 50 miles this month. Its going to be a crunch because I have a 3 day drill next week and school starts towards the end of the month and who knows whats in store for me then. I am determined to do it nonetheless and now that I have put it out there in the universe..I have to do it. Besides, when I don't take Ruby out for a run she is literally running around in circles in the house. So she needs it too ;)

This is Ruby after a run

Over the last two weeks I managed to crank out almost 30 miles using the Nike + app which keeps me in the loop on how many miles I have done. Now I need to add 50 miles to this number by September 1st.


I definitely do not want to become a cardio bunny, but I do have military commitments so cardio is a must for me. Besides, I have some fat to loose before I can start building. You can build muscle all you want, but if you can't see it because it under layers a fat then whats the point? I want to see those bad boys!!

Ab workout after my run--but first let me take a selfie




Next month I will post progress photos and talk more in detail about what I am eating/how I am eating and have a grocery list to share with you. If your not already doing it, make sure to follow me on Instagram, Google + or Twitter!!!